random thoughts...

another day

there are times when too many things happen together, too many thoughts crowd your mind, too many new faces, too many new ideas, too much work
and there are days like today
where its 3:30 am and ive not done a single worthwhile thing all day!

slept late.. overslept... i had an excuse (always do!) coz i barely slept the night before... lazed in bed thinking ill start off paper 1 today. pretty ambitiously considered even finishing a section off by night... so good a thought deserves a reward... another hour of sleep!!
woke up 2 hrs later... thought of going to college today (!.. ya things are that bad...!!!!) sat down somewhere... found the paper.... hey i have my priorities... gotta prepare for gdpi... brushing my teeth can wait.... went through the comics.. went through the movie list.... looked at the headlines... eh.....
brushed... had breakfast... gotta be serious about my work now... no unnecessary TV... but im eating ya.... will watch news............... i could do a better job reading news than her... she smiles too much... my coffee not over yet... technically im still having breakfast.... breakfast time i can take a break.... channel change... coffee cold....
1015 am.... gotta leave in 15 mins if i wanna be in time for class. have to go to coll today.... will set all my pracs in order..... will finish all incomplete pracs by tonight.... why do people spend an entire year doing them when they can be done in one day.....
1020 am... spot saree lying unpacked from sibm interview.... i have the time to try out the saree... hey... this is gdpi practice haan..... need to learn to be comfortable in saree.....
1055 am.... several sarees later... 2 aunties who had come home to meet mum are now also involved in my saree draping.... saree draping??? i meant gdpi prep....
1105 am... aunties gone... sarees folded back... can make it 15 mins late... VUD wont mind (strange i dont know the profs name yet! this is how theyre refered to here.... all initials!) got dressed...
1110 am... full house.... only family fun show on tv... ooohhh... this episode..... have seen this... really dumb... damn it i wont make it for VUD anyway... can go later only for pracs....
1115 am.... mum: "i thought you had to go today"
me: "actually i dont really need to go... i can go just for the pracs its ok.... blah blah.. attendance not really so bad.... blah blah..."
mum (to herself) : "bai nahi aati.... maybe this girl can find employment somewhere as one... aur kuch toh honewala nahi hai"
1130 am... hogan family... arey... havent seen this episode.... coffee still there... am still having breakfast.... technically
1200 pm... caroline in the city.... i love richard... but coffee is over... lunch box opens up...
1230 pm... gotta leave now to reach for pracs
100 pm... gotta leave now to reach for pracs
130 pm... gotta leave NOW to reach for pracs....
145 pm.... pondering the meaning of life... my long term goals and how msc part one fits in the plan... u guessed right it doesnt... wont reach for pracs anyway
200 pm... still pondering
230 pm... stratified sampling karte hain.... got the notes... got the books.. arey... pen bhi hain.... yawn!! cant work when im sleepy... will get up at 345 and 4 onwards dhamakedar study session starts
345 pm.... snooze
430 pm.... snooze
500 pm.... mum: "what is wrong with you!!"
515 pm... will study for an hr then go to ims
517 pm.... notice brand new watercolours.... ref pre interview form... what are your hobbies... art... what are your strengths... honesty.... abhi toh painting karna hi padega
615 pm... ims...late again
1030pm... get back home... phone call.... description of my gdpi at sibm... confidence boosting talks... how to reach pune by rail road and air.... more confidence boosting.... all the bests all around....
1130 pm... dinner... damn caroline just over
1200 am... checking mail.... no mail... how come?? checking junk mail.... opening junk mail... deleting junk mail.... pagalguy.... reading all the junk mail.... reading everybodys sibm..... someone had referred to candidate no 2.... who when asked how much u rate the group she had said 4-5... smile... smirk.... im candidate no 2... thats me... remembered the terrible group performance at case study.... damn i shud have said 1-2....
100 am... full house....
130 am... hogan family
145 am... panic strikes... tv off.... damn.... gotta still do that bit on IPR
230 am.... american idol... IPR search nearing end
300 am.... american idol.... looking for lost friends on the internet....
330 am..... guilt... guilt..... more guilt..... need to immortalize the most pointless, useless day of my existence...
415 am.... finished immortalizing..... lesson learnt..... guilt felt...
good night

posted by deepti @ 3:25 am 1 comments

hair raising

really scary come to think of it... i dont know where im headed.. dont really even know whats happening... think i just have to go where life takes me.
'whatever happened to predictability....'
and things are getting real scary.... we had our seniors presenting their project today... kinda like the last thing they do before they leave and we 'take their place'.... dont feel like i even deserve to be in the class when i havent learnt one new thing this yr... seriously never felt so crappy ever as i have this entire year.... academics have always been like a priority whether i did well or not but this yr its been a serious joke. ive spent half a fortune photocopying notes but havent done anything beyond that. in fact felt like i hit rock bottom in class yesterday, we had our dept head giving this lec and i had this horrible... overwhelming feeling.... it just got too much...
and almost everyday i wonder why this is happening to me. i mean... its me.... i always got what i wanted if i worked hard enough... and then i had a pretty decent record to fall back on whatever happened.... and then came this yr...
i still believe things happen for the best. i still believe its all meant to be in the scheme of things... but.... why me... :o(

just realized what i must be sounding like... past few posts have all been so... black..... guess will write again only when i can think of something more cheerful!

posted by deepti @ 12:00 am 4 comments

hello again

hey
i know its been really long (though i dont know who really cares about that! ;o) and i had written this slightly bigger post but the thing refused to get published... anyway will write again sometime really soon
cya

posted by deepti @ 1:14 am 0 comments

hello again

reeeeaaalllyyy long break!
been extremely busy, and lazy... but now on i guess im gonna be more regular... (really dont think anyone cares either way!! :o)
bad news first (the eternal pessimist...) didnt make it into xlri... results just came out today and ive been prety upset ever since... so upset that i even ate gulab jamuns (for those of you who are not aware im supposed to be on a diet.. and gulab jamuns dont really go well with the idea of a diet.. on a more positive note... i lost 10 kg!! 4 more to go :oD)
dunno why im so upset about xl.... i mean wasnt even feeling this bad about CAT..
IMS had this achievers workshop on sat-sun and it was really good... went thru all these mock gds and interviews and most importantly met so many others in the same place... guess im in a relatively worse place than most others but still.... in fact those 2 days were kinda more positive than lots others ive had in the recent past... (shucks im sounding like this dark depressed person... im not so.. atleast not as often as it seems i am) in fact was feeling really positive and happy and all that and then came along XIMB where got a call and the party went on and today came XL... guess im not able to accept the verdict so easily...
will post again soon when im in a better mood and can think of other things...
cya

posted by deepti @ 1:14 am 2 comments