freedom.
a summer morning. two twenty something girls out on a walk at the sanjay gandhi national park, mumbai. it isn't all that early in the morning. in fact its quite bright. hoardes of runners/ joggers/ walkers are on their way out already. a fresh set on their way in.the air feels clean, smells fresh. its hard to get this in mumbai. trees line both sides of the potholed road, providing shade and much appreciated greenery. there isn't any great threat of wild animals in this part of the forest, atleast not in the day time. so the two girls, feeling rather safe walk along the tarred road. talking, laughing, catching up on the past yr.
they go furthur down the road, past habitation (few tribals, most slum dwellers), past the monkey cage (no monkeys in it.. thankfully they've managed to escape into the forest, where they belong), past the forest museum (or something like that), past the kids park (already full of kids and their parents).
the aforementioned army of runners/ joggers/ walkers has thinned out. it feels nice to be walking in a real forest, right in the midst of a concrete forest (a comment worn out with use!).
alive. young. healthy. independent. adventurous.
enter villain no 1.
creepy guy in black shirt. ogling. staring. following.
the two girls notice him. they ignore him. they had other things to do. nevertheless, they felt a bit weird. it was scary. and to their dismay they realized, they were the only ones on the road. the other walkers had turned back quite a while ago.
a few minutes later they decide to do the wise thing and walk back. creepy guy is still following them at a distance. they walk a little. soon they see the huts of the locals in the distance. habitation.
phew!! its safe now.
"oye"
they turn. its an instant reaction.
a second creepy guy is standing at the side of the road, 10 meters from them. flashing.
shock. fear. disgust.
no room for any other emotion coz the prevailing thought is, 'we have to get out of here fast'
FEAR
newspaper headlines of the past few weeks flash through their minds. 'girl raped in police chowki', 'woman molested in delhi', 'nurse raped in hospital fights for justice'.........................
this must be the same fear they must have experienced minutes before they were scarred for life.
'God please keep us safe'
they leave the place as fast as possible, trying their best to not look scared, stopping only when they reach the kids park 10 minutes later.
(i dont really know if this was the judicious course of action. but when youre on a lonely road with a stalker and a flasher for company, you can be forgiven for not coming up with the ideal response).
upset. shocked. appalled. disgusted. flabbergasted. betrayed. insulted. shaken.
it happened to me.
is it fair that women have to go through this?
everywhere. everyday.
why am i deprieved of my freedom to walk where i please without the fear of being abused?
why am i deprieved of my freedom to spend time with myself without being constantly on the watch for people stalking or staring?
why am i deprieved of my freedom to LIVE, FEARLESSLY?
posted by deepti @ 5:35 pm
11 Comments:
Good post girl!! i agree with you on this one. but we too have to take a stand against such jerks!! only then they will realise!!
FEAR is the root cause of this. One thing that you did right was that you did not panic. Had they seen fear in your eyes they would have taken advantage of the situation. It is easy to betray a FEARED person. In such situations the best thing is to be Bold & face them fearlessly. The guys might have been harmless & doing their own work & might not be following you.The FEAR inside you made you react. But than there is so much evil in this world even being fearless wont help. I see you have read Devil & Miss Prym. You must be knowing how the evil tries to take over the good. No one has deprived you of living fearlessly, it is all in the state of mind. Once the fear is out everything will be fine. But ya its true there is lot of evil in this world. Just remembered a quote in Devil & Miss Prym
"there is no such thing as good, virtue is one of the many faces of terror"
@krypt: its easy to say there is nothing to fear but fear itself. and that is true when your fear is what keeps you back from exploring your own potential, from being the best you can be. then again standing up for yourself, or something you believe in also requires courage. in such cases fear is your biggest enemy.
but when you have a naked guy standing right in front of you, calling you out and showing you his ‘thing’ and the only other person on the road apart from your friend is someone who has been creeping you out for the past 20 minutes, I think there is reason enough to fear.
and this fear is thoroughly unnecessary. its unfair. to be forced into fear by an outsider only because you are a woman.
@doedoe: i really dont know what can be done. wish i did though.
@saurabh: i have a theory as to why people would behave like this in india.
the sex ratio in or country is 931. that is there are just 931 females per 1000 males.
for simplicity lets reduce population size to 1 billion.
assuming an 'ideal' situation of one woman per man, no polygamy/polyandry, no infidelity, no physical/bio probs, no voluntary celibates (let them be in the remaining 20+million)
therefore there are 69 men per thousand who will never have a partner. in a population of a billion that works out to around 30 million men in the country who are expected to control their sexual desires.
i dont know how possible that is.
and who created this situation. its us. female infanticide has been 'in vogue' for centuries.
they cry so much for a son, only to see him become a rapist or turn to prostitutes. all because they themselves have taken things into their hands and altered the natural balance of things.
it all comes back to you. strikes you right in the face.
The fear that you are talking about is not actual fear. I know anyone will be shocked when she faces such a sight, but than the real strength lies inovercoming that fear. At one point you all talk about Gender Liberation, but than if this the way you all run away from reality you will always be considered weaker sex. You were walikng on a jungle road, you could have picked up a stone or two & showed that guys what you could do.Until you all take the first BOLD step instead of running this all is going to continue & remember THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. You have taken REALITY AS IT IS PRESENTED TO YOU. You think being a woman you need to leave with fear. That you are born weaker. But this is what is told to you since you were born & you never questioned this fact. This is the REAL FEAR set inside you that in such situations you can do nothing. The real strength lies in overcoming this fear & knowing that being a GIRL in this evil world does not neccessarily mean being weak. Next time gather courage & face boldly & you will see the other face of rEALITY.
LIVE,
Krypt
i dont think im born weaker. but i get ur point. i guess im always thinking that coz im a GIRL its happening to me. and consequently start thinking that im a potential victim always.
i get wut ur saying and appreciate it. but its really not so easy. being scared does cloud your mind and perhaps you cant think properly coz ur scared. but its easy to say this from the comfort of ur home.
a girl accosted and raped (as happens almost everyday)you think could have avoided what happened by not being scared and throwing stones at them? you cant really hurt someone throwing pebbles at them. and by the time you find a rock theyre probably already there. they may run but the guy can run too.
fear is what you feel. caution is what you do about it. you maintain caution coz of fear. and isnt there reason to fear? and therefore shouldnt one exercise caution?
one wuldnt be cautious if one didnt fear.
I think you got what I am trying to say. Now the pebble thing was just an aphorism. I am not saying don't be cautious just overcome fear in such situations. You have seen instances of rape but there have always been many instances where woman have saved themslves by acting with courage. In today's world all relationships have just become a joke. Most people don't care much about others. So better to guard yourself rather than running for help. Even if you cry for help I doubt any Samaritan would turn up. No one wants to get involved in such situations & want to live safely. So to guard oneself one needs to be cautious & at same time smart & brave. Just remember Miss Prym in the book you read as to how she overcame evil & defeated it. Once you stop fearing mankind & ahve faith in GOD you will learn to live freely.
You think I am saying this ffrom comfort of my home. That is true. But I have seen many such instances happening around me & wahtever I am writing has come from experience. My own sister was once a target of such brutality when I was with her. We were young & cried for help, but no one came. Finally we gathered courage & picked up a rod lying besides & hit it on the head of that goon & next moent he was unconcious. We walked to police station & filed an FIR & he was behind bars. This happened several years ago when we were in school. So I am not just preaching but telling you my own experience. I in my part time also give this teachings to handicapped people who are more prone to such brutality but their will power to fight I must admit is far more than normal human like us.
Anyways enough of preaching, all the best for your MBA. Will meet someday if destiny brings us face to face ;-).
Till than
LIVE,
Krypt
@krypt: thats really cool and i really respect you for that. makes me feel reallly good. trust me. thaanks for commenting.
@saurabh: thanks. nice to kknow there are ppl like u.
- dippity
Was here.
Hey diPpitY,
That was a nice read that I could completely identify. Am in Delhi now and have to think several before going out alone in the evenings.
Some of friends have started carrying pepper spray cans and knives etc with them.
Btw, all the best for your stint at IIM I. Did u have a K call btw? It would have been great to have you over at K!
-GWBE
Post a Comment
<< Home